The :: Accusations

Well today, something terrible happened.

So let me set the scene for you;

Location: Supa IGA, Joondalup
Time: 4 PM Approx

Witnesses: Annie, Conor, Liam

I stand in the confectionery aisle, with Conor and Annie.

Annie and Conor are looking at the delicious chocolate treats, so as to select some to purchase, I however decide not to get anything, and am merely accompanying them for the purposes of friendship.

As I stand with them, I begin to discuss how I recently viewed a Russian version of Disney Pixar's new hit, "UP".

Mistake.

As soon as I mention that the film seems to have been, how should I put this, not official, this old man, also in the aisle starts giving me odd looks. Obviously, because I have an unofficial copy of a film, I'm involved in drugs and guns and gangs and knives and physical abuse of the elderly. Just as Conor finishes advising me to not visit the Ukrainian movie downloading website advertised during the movie, the man approaches me.

I initially think that the man must be of Russian origins and may be talking to me in order to advise me, in addition to Conor, to definitely not visit, "UnionGang.org.ru". However the man says something completely unexpected.

The following dialogue takes place;

Man: "Make sure you pay for whatever's in your pockets too"

Joe: "Oh, I don't have anything in my pockets"

(Awkward silence ensues, before it is broken by Joe opening his right pocket to reveal an MP3 player that may have been producing a somewhat suspect bulge. Annie begins to laugh hysterically)

Joe: "Just an MP3 player"

Man: "Oh, wrong person"

I then make the mistake of thinking that this terrifying ordeal is over, I soon find out that it is not.

Man: (Quite rudely) "Other pocket"?

Joe: (Opening other pocket to reveal a tiny shred of paper, yeah I steal paper all the time ...), "See, nothing"

Annie is still laughing EXTREMELY loudly, and the man becomes embarrassed and red in the face. He walks away, disgraced.

...

Obviously I'm an incredible renegade who doesn't play by the rules. I don't need to listen to the authorities, I get by on my street smarts.

I stole all this chocolate

Seriously, what the hell ...

How, in any world, state, solar system, planet or dimension I, Joseph Blay, could be accused of stealing I do not know.

Especially considering Conor was there. Probably the most suss renegade teen out them ... But the creepy Ukrainian guy doesn't pick on him, no! Instead he picks the last person who would steal.

...

Not all bad, now I got some totally mad street cred for all ma phat homies in da hood !

R3PR3ZentIn !