Peach is a stupid whore that gets stolen all the fucking time, JESUS, hire some FUCKING SECURITY for once you stupid princess of the mushroom kingdom!
You just get stolen away and then we have to go crawling down these stupid fucking sewerage pipes!We're covered in shit and ... alligator eggs ... then we have to go through a fucking desert, and there's sand .... EVERYWHERE, and it gets all ... in our Italian plumber ass-cracks ... and then we climb up a fucking frozen ice-MOUNTAIN and run through haunted houses ... and then dodge grinning motherfucker bullets ...then we have to jump through ... fucking clouds in the sky and kill flying turtles and brown-faggot-things all so we can go and burn our eyebrows off through a series of lava covered lakes and ... fucking ... flying ships with turtles ... and then we have to beat a giant fire-breathing motherfucker ... all for you !
You just get stolen away and then we have to go crawling down these stupid fucking sewerage pipes!We're covered in shit and ... alligator eggs ... then we have to go through a fucking desert, and there's sand .... EVERYWHERE, and it gets all ... in our Italian plumber ass-cracks ... and then we climb up a fucking frozen ice-MOUNTAIN and run through haunted houses ... and then dodge grinning motherfucker bullets ...then we have to jump through ... fucking clouds in the sky and kill flying turtles and brown-faggot-things all so we can go and burn our eyebrows off through a series of lava covered lakes and ... fucking ... flying ships with turtles ... and then we have to beat a giant fire-breathing motherfucker ... all for you !
Bitch.
4 comments:
WHAT A FUCKING WHORE FUCK. AND FUCKING BOWSER HAS TO FUCKING STEAL HER EVERY TIME FOR FUCKING WHAT? HE KEEPS HER IN A FUCKING CAGE?! WHY THE FUCK? AND FUCKING NEW MARIO BROS! FUCK THAT.
WE TRAVEL AROUND THROUGH EIGHT FUCKING DEATH WORLDS WHEN WE COULD HAVE JUST GONE BACKWARDS AND FUCKING GONE STRAIGHT THERE FOR FUCKS SAKE. FUCKING BOWSER DIDN'T FUCKING SAY, HEY MARIO-FUCK I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR SOON TO BE WED FIANCE PEACH-WHORE AND TAKE HER TO MY SECRET UNDERGROUND FORTRESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NEVADA DESERT WHERE I'LL FUCKING RAPE HER EVERY HOUR UNLESS YOU TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD TO DIFFERENT ANCIENT SITES AND SET IN PLACE A SERIES OF ANCIENT ARTIFACTS TO STOP EACH CAPITAL CITY IN THE WORLD FROM BLOWING THE FUCK UP. AND YOU HAVE 24 HOURS AND THERE'S A BOMB PLANTED INSIDE YOUR KIDNEY'S. AND YOU'RE A FUCK. THAT WOULD BE A GOOD FUCKING GAME. NOT I'M GONN ACAGE THIS BITCH AND THEN DIE WHEN MARIO MAKES THE FLOOR DISAPPEAR. WHAT A FUCK! EVEN MORTIMER WAS HARDER THAN THAT! FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKINGWHOREBITCH.
maybe its the fact shes the princess of the MUSHROOM KINGDOM. Shes obviously constantly off her tits on shrooms, so whilst shes running in circles naked shouting "here i come you fat bastards" at a vase; Bowser can just waltz in and pick her up, take her off and do whatever he does to her in the time it takes Mario to reach him, defeat him and rescue the princess. Why does bowser have to get constantly better at fighting with each boss battle, why doesn't he just kick mario's ass the first time around and then hold peach forever? because bowser has a fetish for being beaten up by small hairy men from Italy. Who are Plumbers. What does Bowser even do to peach in the time between kidnapping her and Mario rescuing her? Rape is a possibilty but given the size difference after the first "adventure", Peach would resemble scrambled eggs. So what else can he do? She has to be tied up, otherwise she would just escape, shes clearly agile and intelligent, apart from the whole shrooms thing. I therefore come to the conclusion that Bowser and Peach are in some sort of working relationship whereby they stage annual kidnappings, gaining the attention of the resident Italian Plumber (why is he the only plumber in town, do they have to be Italian? couldn't some other Plumber go on one occasion?), and whilest he takes 30+ hours to rescue the princess (for no obvious reward, other than knowing he'll have to do it again next week), the koopa troopas (who are working for Peach and Bowser) go into Mario's Appartment and nick all his shit.
Final ever Mario game plot: Peach kills Bowser over drug money (shroom money) and wanting to keep all the shit they stole from Mario; Mario has to jump on lots of things to get to her (instead of just running?) and then finally kills her, by jumping on her, ridding the kingdom of they're drug-taking and growing megalomoniacal princess.
And another thing, if shes the princess, where are the motherfucking King and Queen in all this? are they dead? if they are, why is she still a princess? why doesnt she get married? is she a transvestite? most likely they're also off their tits on the shrooms their daughter grows in their kingdom.
So in Conclusion, Bowser has a fetish for getting beaten up by Italian Plumbers, Peach and Bowser had a working relationship which is used to steal from Mario, Mario is hard done by because he has to rescue some chick off her tits on drugs for no reward and then come home to an empty appartment 'cos he got robbed, and Peach is a teenage slut constantly on shrooms and being fake kidnapped by a giant turtle-thing whilst sending her parents drugs disguised as cakes to keep them from taking over.
but she's cute :) so it's okay :)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
ok i think its time somebody told u ... this game isn't real :S
lol
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